i forget sometimes. i forget what i should be eating. i forget to eat greens - kale and red onion salads, forget to have soups and roots in the ny winter, forget to pause during my meal and chew and breathe. i forget to stop eating and instead snack for hours, giving no time for this temple to rewire, rest and rejuvenate in a shivasana. i forget about food, and its importance, and the importance of it as a substance (food) of substances (Air Land Liquid Atmosphere Heat), of a gross magic derived from other substances (brahma, atman), all of which have an Origin (the Oneness - ALLAH). then ramadhan comes and i am reminded. the qur'an serves as a reminder.
i forget, soon after, why i am drinking fresh juices, but then my body tastes the heaven and i remember, all praise is due.i remember to praise, namaste from my Highest to your Highest. i am here to serve, this body in this body of earth in this body of galaxy, to "serve thy Lord till the inevitable cometh unto thee" (xv: 99), until i am merged. hence the fearlessness of a muslim (surrenderer) which is so heavily patholigized in the media. no fear of death in this manifestation, in this temporary shell for the surrenderer (muslim).
serving, means falling prostrate (islam) to this mosque/temple/church you reside in, and beyond it. serving means to be mindful, to be present, to be Love, to work with Love, to work, to work and do it Quietly regardless of who sees or does not, regardless of whether anyone will read this or not, regardless if there are people who call themselves muslim, spiritual, on a path, and do everything to obstruct and keep you, or not. self, ego, is a harbinger of iblis-frequency, seeks audience with fame, self-importance - gate -keeperism. but there is no security in the gates of narcissism that they hold tight to. surah xv reminds us of this, shows us in the example of the people of al hijr:
"and the dwellers in al-hijjr indeed denied messengers (xv: 80)
"and we gave them our revelations, but they were averse to them (xv: 81)
"and they used to hew out dwellings from the hills (wherein they dwelt) secure (xv: 82)
"but the cry overtook them in the morning hour (xv: 83)
"and that which they were wont to count as gain availed them not" (xv: 84).
the people of al hijr, like alexander the great, like genghis khan, like mussolini, like james dean, ronald reagan, eazy e, sammy davis jr, george burns - met the inevitable. we all do. the passing of this body is guaranteed. even the gatekeepers have to pass, even those who keep doors shut to you in the name of democracy, in the name of religion, in the name of movement, grassroots, progressive...
yet and still i have yet to meet anyone who has returned from the dead, or atleast anyone who has dwelt their long enough to report back on the angels and messengers they saw, in the heights, the line for judgement day and the Judge on the great throne, before the cracked sky. no one i know.so why serve, why surrender?
the surrender (islam) is necessary for alignment with Self, serves to make us a shepherd to live correctly, to take care of the body (organ systems) we wear, the body (earth) we walk on, the body (space/time) we travel through. putting the wrong foods, the wrong quantity of food, at the wrong times, for too long, without proper etiquette, without sitting right, chewing right, thinking right, will hold severe consequences - hence diabetes, hence 90 percent of overweight people passing off as normal, as normal as the injected and corn-stuffed chicken and cattle in the factory farms throughout the midwest, throughout the cages of halal poultry places in brooklyn and queens - babylon halal.
the signs are clear surah xv tells us, the surrender is essential, and those who serve, taken care of, as was lot and his wife and children, a righteous family who lived among "a guilty folk" (xv: 58), whom abraham was sent to rescue from the fate that was inevitable:
"the cry overtook them at sunrise (xv: 73),
"and we rained upon them stones of heated clay" (xv: 74)
"lo! therein verily are portents for those who read the signs" (xv: 75)
the signs are stiff necks, legs cracking, insomnia, high blood pressure, feeling bloated, with excess gas and gastrointestinal issues, with heart ache and hot flashes and arched eyebrows that look like knives everytime someone walks slowly in front of you, anytime someone accidentally pushes into you in a packed train. the signs abound:
"and we send the winds fertilising, and cause water to descend from the sky, and give it to you to drink. it is not ye who are the holders of the store thereof" ( xv: 22).
this was the single greatest realization for me, in this surah - that we have very little control, that as much as the genius amongst us have collaborated with their intelligence to develop - electricity, nano-technologies that make flatscreens and ipads possible, phones that can be taken with you from one time zone to another and then place you in contact with someone half way across the globe sitting in a penthouse on the 89th floor of a skyscraper in shanghai - we have very little control. we have very little control over the winds and sun rays and the movement of the tectonic plates below us. we have very little control over time and space and the greying of our hair and the wrinkling of our skin, as much dye as we may put on, as much callogen as we may shoot up. afterall, surah xv reminds us "it is not ye who are the holders of the store therof" (xv: 22).
who are we then? who are we in this manifestation as humans? surah xv tells us:
"verily, We created man of potter's clay of black mud altered" (xv: 26)
"and the jinn we did create aforetime of essential fire" (xv: 27)
there are things we don't understand, atleast i don't. i don't get djinns. i live in ny, i have always lived where buildings are taller than trees, where trains float through bridges and spirits are another name for liquor. if anything, if i've learned anything, it is that i know very little, that there is a whole lot i am scratching my head about, that i want to know and know that i am confronted by time. i lose touch with this understanding, with this frequency of humility in the limelight of the blocks of this city, of this paint that colors my skin and these clothes that colour my swagger. i got my middle fingers up to the gatekeepers and am fighting their barring me from opportunities. in the process, i tremble, become this skin, become outraged at those who defile my sense of me. i tap into the frequency of iblis, until i remember - shhhh - quiet, pause, the Source appears, i remember to surrender, to let go of that which is maya and connect with that which is Always... all praise is due.
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