Tuesday, December 8, 2020

the seeds of a community

...ram das says in a lecture that he gave in 1987 that good business is driven by a goal, a vision, a need versus being driven by profit and money making... when this is your goal then you are driven only by individuality, by your own tamasic needs... 

...in the law of attraction... a friend of mine tells me that you have to be real clear about what you want...be real specific, she says... it's not enough to say you want a house... what kind of house, why? where? who lives there? what's the neighborhood like?... if you are looking for a partner.. what are their qualities... you can say that they have this body and this profession... but what about that body type?... chemistry... you want to have chemistry with the person you are with... what about profession...?... you may want stability... etc... 

...are you creating a need, or is there a genuine need for what you'd like to share...?... for many eyars i saw that being/becoming a medicine man was about me finding my purpose, about what i had to offer... but i realize from my own failure of not being able to be of service that this goal was always a selfish one... it wasn't about helping others... it was about me connecting with my ancient self for me... for me to have ancient knowledge and be recognized for this... in turn my studies and accolades have all been driven by ego... this shows up in my yoga as well... my goal has been to obtain a certain leel of depth in asana and some of the more esoteric layers of yoga... again... it has been selfish and without service... 

...so having thus knowledge and practice now... what is the offering?... in aligning with the knowledge of the 99 names... of the unseen... of the Wisdom... i Realize in Ya Daar... the Distressor... that to find meaning... Purpose means to search through that which is hurting your spirit... is causing you stress... as this is where you realize your need... what is causing me distress?... aging without progress... being unmarried and childless... living in the same neighborhood i grew up in... in the same rental... being without community... watching my folks age... and those around me... watching friends dissipate... being at a job that doesn't serve my love and passion of creative writing and fiction and being creative and yoga and medicine making and bodyworking and cooking and being in community with the land and each other and instead being in community through screens and paycheck... 

...what is distressing me is not being in meaningful community and not being in a space of offering for community... so what i want is to be in a space of community not just with where i live but also with the people i work with and on... i want to know their families and friends... i want to be in community with those i work for... and that my work only draws me closer to them... so i want to be in cooperation...

...what is the need then?...  compassion... going beyond individualism... building an alternative to isolation and individualism and consumerism and transactionalism and discompassion and lack of love and respect for different cultures and different cultural ways of being and not being burned into a melting pot that makes you the same and destroys difference by boiling it out... the lack of love and respect for the earth and artisanship and what it takes to create/build vs look for deals and stuff... 

...how?.... do you feel alone...?... confounded, hurt by time space happening and you are feeling left behind... losing those around you... being un quicksand... feeling a lack of support for what you are going through?.... lacking meaningful accountable relations... people who won't just ditch you becasue you said/did the wrong thing?... the solution maybe community... who are accountable to one another... who are engaged and rooted in spirit... who plant and develop a relation to food as medicine through reaping/harvesting and cooking... and sharing meals... what do i have to offer to help people go through this?... people as diverse as my mother and someone who is a lawyer...?... through education... through an educational program that has a cohort... that people who participate feel enriched and driven by... that can help them grow deeper with each other and the land... that is within a region... a neighborhood... that is culturally sensitive and rewarding and enriching... that values difference in perspective... that empowers people to own and take responsibility... that helps them to go out there and build/plant the seeds for other self-sufficient interfaith yoga ancient medicine school-clinic communities - that is not a franchise or brand... but rooted in spirituality... 

...where does this start?... with medicines that people can trust... and want to work with me... with writing courses... with full moon courses... with a clinic that helps people with their issue... to do talks on spirituality and community and the earth... to hold a yogi medicine person cohort... people who can learn the ancient art of yoga and ayurvedic medicine: through immersing in daily ritual: asana, meditation, pranayama... cooking vegetarian foods... planting herbs... making medicines... doing an art... writing... sharing their talents... engaging in responsibilities... karma yoga... so they are immediately taking charge of their community instead of being passive participants... holding clinic... engaging in dhikr/satsang in attending and offering dharma talks... in sleeping early and getting up early and having saturdays to rest for shabbat and celebrating on friday night... all praise is due... this is a school clinic farm kitchen lifestyle... and it's within reach... 

...what's keeping me?... fear that it's unrealistic... too big... etc... but it's been a vision for years... now i will pitch it... do you want to help?... 

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