Thursday, November 11, 2021

...shadow boxing... 11.11.21...

 ...the shadows abound... for me... i see them in my love stories... in lovers who leave early, before sleep can entangle us in a dream... before we can know each other during breakfast... 

...i'm learning that your doing you feels hurtful because i'm not really doing me... i'm all over the place... scattered like u.s. bullets pelting earth wind and fire... 

...i'm ready... 

...up and running down albany and state... seeing who's around... blasting radiohead from my blue tooth and the dental insurance is too much and the brush and floss and oil all there... and the greens and onions... 

...i wanted you to put your hand on mine, to draw me into you, into fade, into stars that we'd watch from the field outside the observatory... 

...i was at the sandwich shop, my head covered in wool... my hands peeking out of the army jacket, to give change through the cut wrist glove, and i wanted you to notice, i wanted you to smile... blow a kiss...

...instead it's only your apparition that i dance with, talk like a scratched record that plays through the samskaras... and that's when it dawns on me - these are samskaras and i get to change them... i get to dissolved them from ice into smoke... space... constellation... 

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