...gave up the harmless looks to look harmless and meek... to gain your looks and attention i jumped from three stories and took classes on backflipping... i bought $300 army jackets and diesel jeans when i knew you would be at the office/party/dinner... i ran myself into exhaust... youtubing videos on 6 packs and hiring a personal trainer to turn my pockets of belly fat in geometric lines that you could admire,... to turn the twigs of my arms into 18 wheelers you'd want to get in...
...you did... you got in for a ride... and it became the ride... our ride... down the 66... america's favorite route for cross country... we got beer and ice creams in the old diners along the arizona coast line... a boardwalk that bordered the desert... and the cacti that sprung made it clear that we were storming through a once ocean floor... and that now the ocean was above us.. growing black and heavy in the skies ahead... and we drove right in to the eye of the flash floods...
...flashbacks of times that happened and didn't... dreams and moments that seem just as fictional... to compose a symphony for an organ pipe that you handed me in my sleep... a figment of my imagination and yours... so there was no surprise when you received and played it along my shoulder like i was a piano... and it felt good to be touched so i stayed the night... knowing that like all relationships in the left lane... we would be a footnote to friends... and the only reason you felt more was because i wanted something... badly... and it had very little to do with you.... and i know that... do you?...
...do you see that your desires are what is keeping you hurt and disappointed...?... can you aspire without desire?... can you reach with vision and attempt to manifest without precluding and giving up because it didn't hapoen... feel the pain and give thanks that you could feel it... then transform it... make it into art... write a poem... a short story... a novel... make a collage... a painting... jewelry... pain is the Gift to learn about your Self... and Gift the world...
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