...receive the Gifts of breakup... 1.26.21...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... 

...a wish... for you and for your mother and father and aunties and uncles and siblings and grandmamas and grandpapas and great aunts and great uncles and second and third and fourth and 19th cousins until we are a relation... until we are family at a dinner of aloo-gobi in a vegan biryani on 6th street... under christmas lights and the sitar and tablas of the players that sit by the window and we with glasses of ithacan spring water held up in the air... toasting to our we-ness... feeling the ecstasy of our together... 

...we should do this more often, she says... he agrees and i watch... long for the wife and kids to be at the table with... the table grows empty as our family departs... as our great big people of cosmos family dissipates into the A and 6 and N trains and i end up in the last car and you happen to go in the same direction.. to astoria... and even though we had the talk yesterday... you ask do you get why?... 

...yes... i think... but my heart is telling me differently... my heart is telling me that we should grow in our exploration... in our play... in our Love in Surrender to our Highest... in our yuj yoga... i want children you say... i want someone who can pay bills who has a steady income who has a home... 

...nothing else needed to be said... i have been on the whims of Lovers who accepted my waywardness... you are a gypsy she said... hey gypsy, my mom says... calls me... when she isn't calling me yogi... when she isn't calling me cafe for spending all my time and money in cafes that let me sit... that let me get lost in  words... in a language that comes close to the ethereal that my mind bends into like a drop back in outer space...

...i Realize she is right... and i have this Gift now from her on growing fuller in my path so that i embody it int eh panchamayakoshas... so that yogimedicineman isn't a conversation on what i do... but you see it in my Work... and in my subsistence... and in my thrive.. as it will mean we thrive together... inshALLAH...