Friday, May 13, 2022

.5.13.22 today

 today is everyday and no days and no ways and all ways and alvvays and arcade fire and associations like s.a.t portions in english i spoke a broken version of pathos pathetic in my desire to die into something acceptable and if i couldn't to find the clothes and shoes and hair styles that could make that switch for me 

switched my phone off, for a while, to minimize distraction when she came like the mahdi, return of jesus, salvation for all the people i pissed off, who i wrote off, who became fiction and i barely know if they were ever here, except every so often when the day becomes a thread for night to illuminate the dark world i've been painting ever since i could remember knowing that pretending is more acceptable than not, except i kept tripping, laughed at by pointing fingers, herculean in hilarious, i gave up, mostly

stopped trying to belong... decided to be me, speaking broken bangla, quoting shakespeare, floored by the cure and arcade fire, dressing in cut denims and leggings, doing headstands and skip walking, placing my hands together in namaste and praying for everyone around me as they slice my face into stitches, and i release them of scars, mend my wounds with bismillah hi Rahman ni Rahim... 

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