...somehow these writings feel like the most important thing in the world... somehow they keep me alive... from drowning in one of the gorges with all the other bodies of people i know and don't know... people who found that the bottle was too crowded for their drown and that they needed to crack their skull and release their Light through the sahsasara chakra to return to something that made sense... somewhere better...
...we all have moments... and in keeping this in mind... empathy happens... that there may have been a split second of murder in your head... someone who enraged you to the point of a glimpse of harm... use this to understand that someone else might commit it... someone else might do the deed... that even though it is an extreme leap from a nanosecond of thought to an action... that thought is the action... so check your thoughts... really what i mean is i need to check my thoughts...
...there may be someone who makes someone do something against their will - rape, sexual assault, torture them into confessing something... it's you that thought it... me... in our desire to control, to want to control how someone responds to us, how they behave, how they should be... that's it... that's the seed for the act of the extreme... it may sound disconnected... a leap from one thing to another... but it's connected... it all is...
...someone walks by in their summer shorts and tank top... you notice them... more than notice you check them out... have some thoughts around it... have thoughts that are graphic and may even lead to an entire scene playing out in your head... that's the seed for violation... for going beyond someone's will as your desire had nothing to do with that person... wasn't consensual... but what you wanted to do with that person...
...thoughts are the seeds of voice and actions... how we move in the world... how are you transforming your self?... how are you going deeper in so that the 18 year olds who shot up people in buffalo and in texas are not happening?... it's afterall you and me... and maybe you don't see it in you... but i certainly see it in me...
...as much as i clock the hours of yoga i do a day... as much as i engage in veganism and stay away form flesh and flesh derived products... as much as i read spiritual texts and listen to talks on overcoming ego and as much as i talk about it... i got a lot to work on... a lot of work to do...
...i realize this at least once a week... but it came to fore in a more pronounced way this week... when a Love went through a challenging situation and instead of feeling empathy i felt upset and hurt by her action.. like it was her fault... like it was a personal affront to me... instead i could've listened deeper, cried with her instead of for myself... could've consoled her with kind words instead of harsh ones...
...empathy is an internal action... it is being engaged in the Spiritual process of meditation... of spending time watching thoughts with equanimity... of observing instead of assessing... afterall the desire for happy/pleasure has the same common denominator as pain... aversion and pleasure are sides of the same coin... i see it in me... hopping from one to the other... seeking what makes me happy... feel defeated by what makes me sad... wanting to be in control and when i don't feeling a sense of powerlessness... of having not control... and instead of being okay with this... growing deeper in self involvement... spiralling down into base again... base actions... words... harm...
...empathy i am realizing requires pause... it requires breath and pause... a moment... moments... being okay with taking these moments... instead of having to have an immediate response...
...empathy requires a practice... on and off the allotted practice time... it requires being steeped in witness consciousness.... in building samskaras of Love, Respect, Honesty, Compassion... and dissolving the sanskaras of anger depression control fear anxiety... doing this through the Work within and the Work without...
...empathy requires going within yourself when you feel hurt harmed upset angry jealous... slowing down... Listening to what's coming up inside you with equanimity and with compassion releasing these things that exist... with Love taking away from the concrete you've created... breaking it apart with every opportunity...
...and if you didn't engage with empathy... if you hurt someone in your judgement of them... you know the feeling cause it hurt you to hurt them... so use the opportunity to go within... see where it came from... going deeper in your journaling to see patterns... learn from them... go deeper in the wounds that led to your feeling the right to judge another...
...for me it has always been not having control... not having control of poverty, of being other, of facial and bodily features, of physical ability, of not fitting in with clothes/language/ethnicity/talent... etc etc... and taking what other people who participated in my feeling this way as the gospel, as what was Real, instead of accepting that the only Truth is Oneness, is non-separation... is Divine Order... that we are all in this together and other peoples walls are only from hurt and their hurtful words only their own hurt... and that who You Are is beautiful... has Always been... however that looks - dark as blue or white as chalk... all of it is part of the Divine Order... and when you arrive at this place you will Know that You have nothing to prove... nothing to fear... that All their is Love and subtraction from Love... that You Are here to go deep in Love and whatever takes you away from Loving fully, from giving of yourSelf is the Work...
...go deeper in the pause... in embracing the difficult... in sitting with it... in asking what am i afraid of? what gives me discomfort... what would the One who Loves do?... Love... Honor the wishes of others... Be vulnerable... acknowledge their mistakes and Work to grow from it... be in a state of uninterrupted presence with everything - writing, eating, cooking, listening during conversations, packing, unpacking... Be okay with silence, with a lack of stimulation... be okay with stimulation... take moments throughout the day to meditate and dissolve sanskaras and grow the Ones that will grow their Love - Giving, Listening, Compassion, sharing, selflessness...
...in the breath and Sight of the One... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful...
No comments:
Post a Comment