... returned... back... another end... another beginning... another not knowing... but Knowing...
...after the first series of starts and ends... you begin to notice a pattern... the anti-climactic-ness of these momentous occurrences - birthdays, graduations, sweet 16, turning 18, 21... 30 is a big one... finishing college... starting a yoga certification... completing it... going back to school for studying something different... meeting new folks... falling in love... a new relationship... the end of it... heartbreak... moping... moving on... someone else... at a dinner... dates... newness... this one is different... this is the real deal... never felt this way before... amazing chemistry... butterflies wear off... more irked than excited... desire diminishes... another end... another beginning... a new town... a new state... a new country... the end never ends.. the beginning ends as soon as it begins... moments...
...moments in this space ship...
...today... if the question were posed... how did you spend you day? how did you cherish this Gift?... what would you say?... how would you account for your time?...
...for me... today was a day of transition... after a day of driving... after a day of my back feeling the strain of 5 hours south and east...
...today... i wanted to map out the next stage... this next stage...
...what was accomplished in ithaca was knowing... being clear of this offering... of how it could help... and being back reminds me of how there is a lot of competition to differentiate your offering from others... and there are a million consumer products... for people like me.. these are in the form of intangibles... classes/education... an experience...
...the experience i want is to Connect... to Work... to gain Knowledge... to offer... to be of Service... to do the Work that is essential... as time is passing... as we Are passing... as generations are leaving this shell... as people find themselves in a flutter...
...those that appear to be doing what i do... what i Connect with are business outfits... are celebrity figures... are giants because the made a name for themselves... are a hodgepodge and not a discipline...
...hours of looking into these programs schedules and outfits... and i feel sleazed... more confused than before... back in the mode of consumer... avoiding what i have to do... what i already have before me for focusing on what i don't have...
...doing it different would be getting this offering out... with single-minded focus... and embracing every hurdle as a new opportunity... and investing accordingly...
...the hurdle in ashtanga - press ups... tic tocs... deep balances... kapotasana... leg behind my head... who offers this?...
...the hurdle in the Work is not having a team...
...be clear about the Work and then the team will happen... do what you can with what you have.. making medicine... getting the journals out... breathing... publishing...
...a friend once said if you want to meet someone then you have to place yourself in front of them...
...this could be applied to anything you want to get deeper with... be in a space of osmosis... you are the community you keep... place yourself amidst smokers and druggies and you will be a druggie... place yourself among giants and you will mimik them... take on their qualities...
...so... what does this next stage hold?... to do the Work without expectation of anything... knowing the money... the job will be taken care of... doing the Work because it needs doing...
...the Work is not a name... not a title... not about establishing myself so i can be part of a circuit of speakers... these goals keep me in the babel... these intentions are driven by greed... by survival ideals... ALLAH is Infinite... ALLAH is Always...
...this is a passing... in this passing... what i have to offer is what can help us Connect deeper... beyond consumerism... beyond buying community... beyond just self-help... but towards getting away from shopping... Connecting deeper with each other... with members of family... with people you may already know... with yourSelf... through the path of yogi...
...you don't need to buy a thing... if i got a million dollars for doing the Work... i would...
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