minna tells me that the full moon is a time of letting go of the things u feel are holding you back, keeping you from...
in this full moon, i tremble under city snow. there is much i want to let go of.
after i returned from india i was avoiding all the lights, i circled the grass and plants and trees in astoria park, like it was a forest, like i was in a hindu temple marking 7 spheres around kali, shiva and krsna. on the 7th day back in the city i stepped into the train and looked for work under the city, where i imagined brooklyn would remember my name. i met a guy with a card and a name. he wore skinny jeans and a beard, his shades had the city skyline. behind him were a horde of women in silver pants and spaghetti tops clinking glasses with men with converse and brooklyn lagers. they could be you, he said, the guy with beard and skinny jeans. just drop me a line, tell me about yourself. i did. he looked away and i walked over to the next guy, who wore a suit, tie and shiny smile. behind him were men in a tribeca sushi lounge. they await your presence, just submit your cv. i did. he raised a finger and said he'd be back and disappeared. i walked over to a hundred more men and women with promises and american gold. i typed cover letter after cover letter, adjusted resume after resume. hundreds. nothing.
maybe what you want to do has no track yet, no footprints, has nothing to replicate, viv told me, before i left crown heights last year. maybe you have to create it.
i want to let go of standing on the sidelines in tremble, afraid to walk into the unknown path that bears my personal legend. i want to let go of tanning in the city sun, in hopes of color, in hopes of being down. i want to let go of forsaking this Gift, by dragging my head through this desert, going through motions without the Work necessary to becoming yogum, vaidya, kabi-razi, warrior. i want to let go of my practice of seeing the maya of babylon n deconstructing it like an egyptologist, yet in practice, placing belief in it like a disenchanted scholar criticizing academia at every opportunity. i want to let go of the clutter, the ideas, the talk, the waste of wind in the process of breathing fantastic recipes for elaborate fiction.
Be. Do. Work. Quietly. Quietness is the surest sign.
It seems that this is the time where my soul awakens and realizes that this is the time to let go of what doesn't serve me anymore. It's as if my soul was set on a timer until now. Ding! It is time to make magic happen. This is the time where you realize that you are much more than you think.
ReplyDeleteHere it goes again...My soul clenches at the thought that this is truly happening. That once again it is time to awaken the world but most importantly awaken myself. This is a time to take action and to share your light with others. Oh how beautiful it feels to see other lights shine upon me.
Time to let go what "should" be and start to embrace what could be. Knowing that all this can be possible. You, Me, everyone....it is our birthright to be like the source, to be the source. We have the power within ourselves to embrace who we really are.
I only wear this suit for as long as it will last. Knowing that when it expires, I will still live on. We truly are immortal and when we cease to exist, we will continue to find a way in which we can live. Live on in others, nature, and in the sun. Shine bright for all to see. Let us unite and be one, as it was intended to be.