...in the name of ALLAH... subhanALLAH... i just learned what it means to show anger or outrage or disapproval without being angry or feeling an emotional attachment to this... i learned this from the late guru goenka-ji who discusses this during one of his talks on vipassana - the ancient roots teachings of siddhartha gautama buddha...
...goenk-ji talks about his own teacher who showed him how to raise his voice or display anger without being angry at the monastery that he served in... to students who were disrespectful to others...
...i expressed disapproval right now at a person i'm working with on the website and podcast... he told me he had it up last week and i took him at his word... even though there were several instances up to that point that were in contradiction to what he would say... when i checked the url moments ago... there was no site... when i asked him... he asked me to send him the link to the site i created... i reminded him that i sent it to him twice in the past 3 weeks... that i wasn't going to send it to him again... he would have to find it... although i didn't raise my voice... nor am i angry... i expressed disapproval... and this seemed to convey a gravity that was absent before...
...on day 7 i learned how lying isn't just something that happens with the mouth... of course i know/knew this... but it was something that i decided to flag as a point of transformation... a deep seated toxicity that i needed to work on... i found this to echo in my yoga practice today when i witnessed how quickly i moved from one pose to another... for the sheer purpose of avoiding the discomfort of that pose...
...lying is something that is a seed of intention... it occurs inside and while you can fast with your tongue... if that seed is allowed to grow... it will find hands and feet and limbs to give it breath... it will find ways to manipulate talk to silence to omit what is true...
...part of lying for me is also embedded in placing power in others... power that is undeserving... not that they are undeserving... but the kind of power i attribute to them from a place of fear and rejection...
...by staying in a state of laillahaillala... the lying caa be transformed... i can pause before a moment of untruth... if it so rises and ask am i being Truthful?... and then going into laillahaillala and face the music... as it will only Harmonize me with the Music... inshALLAH...
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