...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... Merciful... have mercy... have mercy on me if i have wronged you hurt you... said words that kept you up... engaged in action that boiled your blood... unless of course... if they came from ALLAH... bowing down mid-day is a decree that comes from ALLAH and it may make your blood boil to see me pray... to know that i went to the other room to prostrate to ALLAH when there's a meeting... when i should be on the zoom call... that is is a big deal... ALLAH is a bigger deal... this is temporary... this is to forward your business dealings... it is not building a house that is blessed for those who seek Guidance in Aligning with our Sacred earth... it is for you to make a pitch for your music and product and book... no book agent is my god... no musician... no employer... no principal... no consultancy... no client... unless they are riddled with bullets or vaccines...
...on day 4 i grew deeper in some ways and sunk in others... woke up late... sure i went to bed late but this also pushed back the rest of my day... on day 4 i kept my words to a minimum... i avoided conversation that was less than High... yet i had conversations in my head about being irked with some of the people i am around and their foul mouth and their inconsideration.. and found avoding came not from God-consciousness but from disdain...repulsion... a definite difference... from a place of Taqwah i would draw a line with humility... with Compassion (Rahman)... Mercy (Rahim)... Embrace (Malek)... Purity (Qudus)... Peace (Salam)... Faith (Muimin)... Incorruptibility (Muhaimin)... Freedom (Aziza) ...Healing (Jabbar)... Boundlessness (Mutakabir)....
...i was a bit annoyed by having to cook on the whim for this person on the fly... when i could've drawn the boundary... when it was me who failed to respond with no, i will have to pass... this built on my driving to shop for food and miss the drive through iftar at a nearby mosque... annoyed at them for announcing that it would 6-7 when i got there at 6:30 and it had long been over... but again... it was me... by failing to draw a boundary about cooking i was now unable to just enjoy being around the mosque... of saying alhamdullilah for the people who were able to get food... and for the reminder from ALLAH to refrain from senses and feed the Soul...
...things shifted after getting home... cooking for everyone and then cooking a meal for me to have by myself.. alone in the other house... and praying asr and maghrib in solitude... reading Qur'an in between... this tuned me back in... spent the rest of the night listening to recitation... praying... reading literature related to the path of Surrender.. all praise is due...
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